Torquay - It's a Three Generation Kinda Thing.

So this Friday I went on a trip to Torquay.

I packed quickly on Thursday night after my pole lesson shoving a few bits in a bag for our weekend away. Mum and I left the house at about 9 am and sadly I didn't leave myself enough time to have my morning coffee, a travesty right?! Don’t panic too much though as we thankfully needed to stop to get some petrol on the way to pick up our other travelers so I was able to buy a latte. Considering my option at home would have been instant coffee it all turned out better than I planned so we were off to a grand start.

Arriving in Alton half an hour later we collected the rest of our party which consisted of my amazing Grandma and her lovely friend Grace (who is in her 80’s but won’t show it!). From where I live it’s roughly 180 miles to Torquay so generally it would take 2-3 hours..... it took us 5. To be fair to us we did stop twice, once for tea which is always necessary on a long journey and then for a quick bite to eat, also essential. We managed to find a really traditional road side cafe for lunch, it was small, dated, right on the motorway and the food was incredible. I may have only had a ham and cheese toasty but my god was it all kinds of tasty.

The rest of the weekend was equally moreish as on arrival at the hotel (The Grand) at around 3 pm we enjoyed a cream tea which is one of my all time favourite things... coming second to afternoon tea obviously! The hotel itself was beautiful with the interior being just what you would expect of an old fashioned seaside hotel - lots of red and gold colourings and ornate trinkets dispersed all over the place. The rooms were HUGE, no word of a lie and the beds were like sleeping in a giant marshmallow. Heaven.

The first afternoon was spent exploring the coast that was right outside our front door. We actually came across a rather unexpected bird of prey, I’m not sure whether it was supposed to be there, had had a shock or was an escapee but it was sat on the fence and let me get really darned close before having enough of me shoving a camera in it’s face and flying to a safer, higher perch.

That evening we were served a two course meal, the taste and presentation were just insane and I couldn't help but get a picture of the desserts which were more like works of art and I am definitely not used to that sort of finery. The evening was all finished off with a glass of wine and being serenaded by a talented pianist in the hotel lounge.

The second day began with a breakfast buffet which as expected I over indulged on, but who can say no to hash browns? After a quick freshen up we headed out on a half hour boat ride over to another coastal town called Brixham, full of colour, pirates and fresh salt air. We couldn't leave without a quick trip on The Golden Hind, a bit of lunch and buying a few gifts for the Dad and sister who didn't come.

The afternoon shot past with us making use of the hotels pool and Jacuzzi until it was time for yet more food, this time three courses of deliciousness. A bit more wine and music blasting from the wedding party room and we headed to bed for one more sleep.

The last morning spent in Torquay meant another excessive meal for breakfast and then it was time to begin the journey home. This time around the drive only took 3 hours as stops were reduced to a single one for lunch. Pulling off the motorway to find a pub rather than a service station was the best decision we made that day, the staff were friendly and catered to us even if we were super awkward by not wanting to have a main meal! Compliments to the chef.

In the end the weekend was perfect, I got to spend time with some incredible women and explore somewhere new! If anyone has debated going to Torquay I highly recommend it.

If you wish to see more of my photos Click Here

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Awesome Of The Week: 21 Day Kindness Challenge.

This is a challenge that I tried to take part in last year and honestly didn't accomplish as much as I'd hoped soooo I am signing up again this time around.

It is an annual challenge set up by the lovely people over at kindspring.org (I have mentioned this before but go and take a look around their site because it is a fantastic project). They are aiming to encourage as many people as possible to complete an act of kindness every day for 21 days.
The challenge begins on October 2nd and continues throughout the month, now thinking up 21 different acts is actually kind of tricky so if you join this challenge each day you will be sent an email with inspiration for that day.

There is no pressure to complete the specific task they set in the emails and you can do whatever sort of act you wish, if you see something that you think would be a lovely thing to do then go right ahead. The emails are simply a push in the right direction if you need a helping hand.

If this sounds like something you would enjoy then sign up here for the emails etc. Small acts can have a huge impact not only on those around you but also on you, doing kind things promotes more kindness. The reactions you receive will encourage you to notice and take advantage of any opportunity for kindness, it will also encourage others to do the same and that can only be a positive thing.

So go forth and increase those warm fuzzy feelings.

x

Weekly Update.

So I am trying something different with this post, I always feel that my life is pretty uneventful and recently decided that I need to start making an effort do to things I enjoy and realise when interesting things actually happen to me.

I want to take a moment every so often to document what I have been up to and notice that “Hey I actually have a life!”.

I stayed with my housemate from uni last weekend in Crawley and as she lives in such close proximity to London it would have been rude not to go! We spent an incredible day going round Leicester Square including M&M World, Cyber Candy and then onto Trafalgar Square and The National Gallery to pretend that we are cultured.

We also experienced Five Guys for the first time – now if you are unsure of what this is (I had no idea of its existence until this weekend) or have never been then I shall explain. It is possibly the GREATEST BURGER JOINT OF ALL TIME. This is not a statement I would put out on the internet without some serious consideration as I take my burgers and more specifically my 50’s style American diners very very seriously. I am an avid fan of a restaurant chain called Ed’s Easy Diner which is also in Leicester Square and so wanted to give Five Guys a go, now the menu seems somewhat limited on first viewing but it doesn’t even matter, the food is so beautifully crafted that you need not ask for anything more.

The burgers look and taste completely homemade, the chips (fries) are hand cut and made fresh every day, they even have a blackboard hanging on the wall to tell the customers where the potatoes for that days chips (fries) came from which I assume is always a small English farm. Getting food from smaller farms and companies is always great and when I see such big restaurants doing this it makes me enjoy eating there even more.

Your order comes in a big brown bag with burgers wrapped in tin foil and fries in a paper cup, leaving no washing up for the hard working staff and also if you wanted it is all recyclable waste! As is evident from my babbling I loved everything about this restaurant, the food, the service, the atmosphere and highly recommend it to anyone who likes a good burger.... just maybe plan on an early lunch to avoid too much of a queue as it is extremely popular.

We then also made a spontaneous decision to get tickets to see a show – I had never seen a show in the West End until this point for one reason or another even though I adore the theatre (correction apparently according to my mother I saw Beauty and the Beast when I was little!). I didn’t want to include that in this post as it would be too long, if you’re interested you can find a separate post here.

This Wednesday I had my second Brownie meeting as an actual leader, if you are unaware I volunteer at one of my local Brownie packs and recently had to take over the running of it – see post about thathere – and for the first time I truly felt in charge. It was scary but pretty exciting too, I can’t wait to plan meetings and new things for all the girls to do. I think Brownies is brilliant but is in dire need of a fresh set of eyes to bring it up to speed. This week we made a scarecrow for the local competition in my village where different groups compete to make the best looking scarecrow, and of course ours is wearing Brownie uniform. We got very messy with paper mache to create a head and stuffed some old Brownie uniforms to make the bodies, it all went surprisingly well and fingers crossed the judges appreciate our efforts!

I went to Pole on Thursday as normal, I was super tired and the session didn’t go quite as well as it could have but I got some practice in and fingers crossed we will soon have a space to practice in for ourselves! For anyone wanting to find some form of exercise or class that can help with fitness, in particular strength then pole could be for you. I am not someone that enjoys exercise or is fit in any capacity, to come across pole which I actually look forward to going to and feel it working the next day was quite a win.

The end of the week was pretty chill, I had the house to myself so two friends came to see me and we drank cider and talked until half 2 in the morning. After a long week at work there isn’t much better than seeing friends that you can laugh with but don’t actually have to make effort with .... that sounds pretty bad. What I mean by that is relaxing is nice or more accurately necessary on a Friday and although socialising feels like hella lot of effort having people around you makes the evenings a bit more interesting. When I say friends I “don’t have to make effort with” I don’t mean people I don’t care enough about to try with, but friends that have known me for so long at this point that nothing would phase them meaning very little effort is required to enjoy their company.

Aaaaand that brings us to today, Saturday, sitting on my couch flanked by a cat on each side, coffee in my Maleficent mug, Tangled on in the background and writing. Utter bliss.

x

It's The Theatre Darling.

The theatre and shows are not something I have really talked about online much but I am very passionate about it. When I see a show it can completely change my outlook on life, even if only for the few days following - the songs, the costumes, the dancing and the stories are something so magical and what you get from the theatre can’t be found or experienced anywhere else, it’s simply... unique. Now I don't profess to be a west end buff by any means, more just a fan and someone that can appreciate the talent and beauty of it all. So here is what I thought of my evening seeing Wicked.

In my 22 years I have sadly not had many opportunities to actually see a lot of live shows and in fact have only seen one in London, but seeing my first west end show this Saturday led to the inspiration for writing this post. I had the fortune to see Wicked with my lovely friend Sophie and needless to say it was one of the most incredible spectacles I have had the joy of witnessing.

I knew by its reputation that I would love it, I also knew a couple of the big numbers already but am glad I didn’t know anymore than that. Of course I had an idea of the basic storyline but after the first half I honestly had no idea what might be coming next, it turned out to be one of the most cleverly and stunningly written pieces I’ve seen, the twists and turns even I didn’t expect and actually had me in full on tears at one point.

The songs I was yet to hear have now found a firm and permanent place in my brain.... and yes the soundtrack has been ordered. The main characters were portrayed incredibly by Kerry Ellis and Savannah Stevenson who both bought their own quirks to both Elphaba and Glinda and it must be a daunting task to follow in the footsteps of the original goddesses that played them on Broadway -  Idinia Menzel and Kristin Chenowith.

Another surprising fond memory I will have from it is the moment I realised that the character of Boq was being played by (an amazing) actor called Sam Lupton who we by chance had already seen in Avenue Q when he played Princeton in Bath.

This show has had such pressure thrust upon it by its uncountable accolades, and you find that sometimes if things are over credited, when it’s finally your chance to see it, it’s well a bit of a letdown. It couldn’t be less true in this situation however, no matter how many compliments this musical is given it wouldn’t ever be enough. Ever.

I could go on for an inordinate amount of time on the subject but I don’t want to bore you witless and also don’t want to give anything away for those who have yet to see it, but honestly what are you even doing with your life?

I am still obsessed and completely overwhelmed by what I saw at the Apollo Victoria Theatre and can’t wait for the chance to go again because I will 100% be seeing it as many times as is humanly possible!

x

Awesome of The Week: Wispa Biscuits

 Food is something very close to my heart so it should be no surprise it has come up in only the second week of this segment.

Any biscuit or chocolate fanatic will have undoubtedly come across these new Cadbury products. I think it started with caramel and then moved on to crunchie (don't quote me on this), which were both equally moorish.

But try and refrain from getting too worked up over these until I inform you of the latest release.... Wispa. Yes you heard correctly, Wispa.
On first taste you might be tricked into thinking it is simply a delicious shortbread biscuit covered in milk chocolate but you would be oh so wrong.
The further towards the middle you venture you'll be over joyed to find how much more this little snack has to offer. Balanced beautifully in the middle of the shortbread, hidden by chocolate, is the aerated centre normally found in the heart of a Wispa chocolate bar.

If you are yet to experience the joy that this biscuit can bring then go purchase a pack and you can thank me later.

X

Awesome Of The Week: VO5 Styling Mousse.

I have decided on a new weekly segment for this blog - it will be called Awesome Of The Week - kind of given away by the title of this post....
The idea for this segment is to talk about something that has had a particular impact on me that week. It might be a song, a book, a product or just a situation I want to share!

For the first week I wanted to feature a product - VO5 styling mousse. I've never actually done a product review or even mentioned a product in any blog post ever, I'm new to it so bare with me.

For anyone unaware I have curly hair, like really really curly hair and everyone with curly hair knows the nightmares it leads to. The single best thing for curly hair is the right product, something that controls the frizz leaving smooth curls but that isn't to heavy and pulls the curls out.

I have struggled and almost shaved my hair off after trying to get it to look some what presentable but this mousse does the job perfectly.
Just shlap a handful on (dependent on amount of hair, don't go overboard less is more!) towel dried hair after a shower and then blow dry upside down. Now I can't promise this will work for all those with big hair as it tends to do whatever it fancies and ignore any opinion you might have but for me it seems to help!

If you are looking for something that is easy to use and within budget give it a go and hopefully it can become your hairs new bff.

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Songs That Make Me Feel Powerful.

Sometimes it's not so easy to remember the simple things that can have a huge impact. For me it's certain songs, I mean I always appreciate music and the effect it can have on anyone's mentality but I am thinking more of specific songs that you under appreciate.

So I have taken it upon myself to list my personal under appreciated songs in hopes that it will not only leave me with a number of songs that are empowering to me but perhaps will encourage others to see a potential they had forgotten. So here are my top 10 (in no particular order) forgotten gems for when I want to feel mighty.

1. Welcome To My Truth - Anastacia

2. Almost There - Princess and The Frog
There are so many Disney songs that I could list but wanted to just pick one that is perhaps less obvious then say Let It Go from Frozen!

3. I've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers - Fall Out Boy 
Might seem a strange one but for some reason belting this out feels great!

4. If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow

5. Still a Weirdo - KT Tunstall 
This one is empowering because it just makes me feel even more me - yeah that definitely makes sense...shut up.

6. Defying Gravity - Idina Menzel/Kristen Chenoweth
Yes a somewhat obvious choice but hell is it the best for making you feel like a super hero.

7. Show Me Heaven - Maria McKee 
You'll feel strong and kinda sexy.

8. Fuckin Perfect - P!nk 
Um duh.

9. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield 
Embrace your uniqueness.

10. Lastly an interchangeable one - Theme Song to your current favourite TV show e.g Orange is The New Black!

I hope this gave some inspiration and encouragement to grab your hairbrush and enjoy!!

Sara 
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A Change of Perspective.

For the past few months I have had a huge change in perspective and general mood... for the better. I have spoken endlessly on here about when I feel rubbish and although it is useful and VERY important to get that stuff off your chest and out in the open it can also be a hindrance.

I have realised that constantly talking about negative things has lead to constant negative thought processes which in turn lead to more negative outbursts, which no one enjoys. Not me and not the people around me.

So I started reading positive words, looking up inspirational things like KIND SPRINGS (which I did a post about a while back), watching videos and films that make me feel good and hell even simply listening to an upbeat song while dancing around in my underwear. I got to the point where I realised that although you definitely can’t force happiness (and you shouldn't) it can be encouraged to pop out occasionally.

For me it has been finding my more spiritual side, I've read up on Buddhism, learned about crystals and even started meditating. Now I can’t say I will turn vegan and go live in a wigwam however I have found something that makes me feel at peace and taught me that being right here and now is what I was missing. Too often was I looking into the past and thinking about how I could have done things differently... better, or living in the future and being convinced that everything will be perfect, I will do great things and it will be so much better than now without me really doing anything. I stopped, took a look around and noticed that where I am isn’t so bad and I was so preoccupied that I forgot that I am living, right now and that if I want to do good things and feel fulfilled I am the only person that can do that. So I am going to do it.

It’s time to appreciate all that I have and go and do everything and anything I am drawn towards, following my instinct when it feels right to do something. Not worry about what has been and gone anymore, feeling like I should have lived differently. I am starting to wonder if there is a rhyme and reason to the way life works out the way it does and you know what, even if there isn't I may as well enjoy it and make the most of it all.

This will start with making a list of things I want to do, they might be small, big, some even damn near impossible, surrounding myself with people that are positive and lift me up, do the things that make me happy even if I am alone in doing so!

Now if I lose track of why I’m doing this and sink back into old ways I will re-read this post and take my own advice that I gave a friend today - whenever I feel down I am going to take the time to physically write down a list of all the things that are making me happy at that time however insignificant they may seem. And smile.

So here is to saying yes to opportunities, regardless of how scary, big, simple or small they appear. It won’t be easy, if it were I would already be doing it but I want to give it a hella good try.

Phew .... so I have actually loved writing this, I guess it is kind of like a diary entry and probably is boring and nonsensical but it is extremely cathartic. I encourage anyone who is unsure of how they feel about anything to try it, it will make your thoughts so much clearer. I even feel empowered and strong, yes me, that girl who is 22 and sat in pyjamas with a cup of tea while blasting the Wicked soundtrack at 11.30pm feels strong.

Come join me because you know I’m going to start documenting this as well!

x

Bloglovin.com

I came across this fab website today courtesy of a random tweet from my friend Sophie that allows you to follow absolutely any blog regardless of the site it is based on.

You get your own feed where all the posts from the blogs that you follow show up - so just the same as every other blogging website but without the effort of going to each site individually to catch up on your favourites.

So if like me you are a little lazy but still interested in being in the loop give this a try.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

What Girl Guiding means to me.

All I remember about my time in Guiding is loving everything about it and that there was never an evening I didn't want to go to the meetings. I know not everyone will appreciate just what girl guiding is and what it does but I want to try and explain it (granted my gift with words is somewhat lacking and this is likely to end up not truly portraying just how great this organisation is but I feel like trying).

I have gone through pretty much every possible form of girl guiding, I was a Rainbow, Brownie, Guide, Ranger, young leader and now I’m training as/being a guider so would like to think I have a fairly extensive knowledge if it!

To quickly explain the different levels there are – Rainbows aged 5-7, Brownies 7-11, Guides 11-15 and Ranger or Senior Section girls are 16-25. The most important thing that happens in these meetings is that these young girls are put in social situations with other girls outside of school. In the early stages they are only just learning about what it is to socialise and work with other people and associations like this are vital to improve abilities that can be transferred in everyday life and when they are older and in the working world.

The girls are taught to cook, make many crafts, about the world, first aid and responsibility as the sixers are in charge of the girls in their six (Gnomes, Pixies, Elves and Imps).

As you progress through the stages nothing seems as exciting as the prospect of camping without parents. I found the slightly increased emphasis on outdoor and physical activities at this stage to be incredibly fun, some of my favourite memories come from going away as a group.

The level often unknown or forgotten about is Senior Section or Rangers, now there may have only been 4 in my section but my god did we do a lot, including trips to London and to the highest point on the Isle of Wight – singing Disney songs all the way up and having a picnic at the top makes the journey a bit easier.

 So so may fond memories are made when you are a part of something as big as Guiding, I've seen it increase self-confidence, fitness, skills in cooking and craft and not to mention the comradeship gained along the way.

It’s because of this that I want to be able to give back so I am currently doing my leadership qualification, having helped at one of my local groups for 2 and a half years on and off I have recently agreed to take it on myself as the current leaders of the pack are leaving/retiring.

I was unsure whether to fully take it on as it is quite a commitment, I was weighing up if it would be viable and if I was up to it. Just as I was about to turn it down one of the youngest and (I shouldn't say it but) cutest Brownies looked at me one evening and out of nowhere says “I don’t want Brownies to ever end”. That was it, that was the moment I decided that it was something I just had to do, seeing how much Brownies means to the girls is why it had to continue. It’s still a fairly terrifying concept, being responsible for 24 7-11 year old girls but I think I am looking forward to it.

As you can tell from reading this I absolutely adore what Brownies do and all the activities that the recent leaders have done with this pack have been fabulous and thoroughly enjoyed. Having said that I am excited about making a couple of changes for them, mostly focusing on completion of badges as well as more physical activities. Most young girls enjoy all the things traditionally associated with Guiding BUT we need to appreciate that times are changing and so are the girls. A big issue we face is the change to Scouts, now that girls are allowed to join and focus on these exciting physical activities – orienteering, fire building, team building games, a lot of girls are leaving guiding to join them.

 I intend to get my girls involved in getting active and also learning a lot, the badges that can be earned actually suit this plan perfectly. There are so many that require the girls to improve or learn a brand new ability (swimming, cycling etc), get active and be educated about other cultures, food, charities even environmental issues and science – which I am particularly passionate about.

I have some big shoes to fill and I have no idea if I will make a decent leader for these girls, but I do know that they mean a lot to me and all I want is to ensure they enjoy coming each week, they learn a lot but most importantly leave with experiences they won’t forget and lifelong friendships just like I did. If I do half as well at this as the women I have met throughout my time with the association then I can be proud and know I did well!

Lastly a plea – anyone that has previously been involved in Guiding or simply feels like they might benefit from it please, please contact your local pack and offer your help, even if it’s just every so often, especially if you are a parent of a Rainbow, Brownie or Guide. Guiders and young leaders are always needed to continue this incredible work and help the charity grow... yes Girl Guiding is a charity and relies on donations from people and volunteers to run it, without the dedication of people like my brown owl who gave over 30 years of her life to the same Brownie pack, there is no way it could survive.

www.girlguiding.org.uk

x

My Frozen Experience.

If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading this and go. Now.

I kind of want to leave this review there as that’s really all that needs to be said, however I think perhaps I need to work a bit harder -especially considering how long it’s been since I posted anything. Yeah sorry about that.

So for those  living under a rock Frozen is the most recent Disney movie and as an avid Disney fan it took me a lot longer than it should have to actually go and see it.

The first experience I actually had of this film (other than what has been running around tumblr since it was released) was my older sister telling me to watch a YouTube video of one of the songs featured in it.

I was at work when I got the text so decided to watch it on my lunch break – big mistake. The song in question was “Do You Want To Build a Snowman”, if you have experienced this song already you will understand the emotional storm it creates within even the toughest of hearts. Added to the fact I was already a little emotional that day was the fact that it was my real life sister that suggested listening to it – a song about sisters. Needless to say I almost had a minor break down in the office and had a sudden urge to hug every single person I saw that day and tell them I hope that they have a great relationship with all of their siblings.

I was a mess.

Anyway after getting over that ordeal I went and saw the entire film with my sister, mum and Grandma, it was a three generation outing.

First off the attendant giving us the tickets had to check we had the right film as “It’s a kids film” excuse you but your facts are incorrect Disney it not for children……

Once we assured him this was in fact the film we had planned to watch we sat in the smallest cinema ever, seriously it was like being in someone’s lounge. But what better venue to watch Disney in, all we were missing were slippers and a cup of tea.

The film itself is utterly beautiful, the songs, the characters and the story all lend themselves to Disney perfectly. Not only that but many of the characters are voiced by massive Broadway stars; I don’t know what more you could ask for. Idina Menzel is a real life princess and if you disagree then you are wrong and need to be punched in the boob/dick depending on gender.
Now obviously I am still undecided on my favourite song although “Let It Go” will make you feel like you could cure world hunger, poverty and every illness ever all at the same time.

As for the characters I think – and I say think as it changes daily – Ana is my favourite just because she is awkward, naive yet strong and is most importantly, undoubtedly always herself. I feel that she is the kind of female role model all young girls could look up to …. Other than the whole wanting to get married after meeting the guy just that day, but we can forgive her that as she got distracted from day dreaming about boys by wanting to stuff chocolate in her face. I think that was the moment I decided I loved her.

I would also happily share my carrots with Sven….. or Kristoff... okay definitely Kristoff.

I shall now end this post as I started it and say to everyone regardless of if you are male or female, how old you might be or whether you are a Disney fan or not (but come one who isn’t) go and see this film when you can. 
Oh and expect to be singing nothing but these songs for the rest of your life.

Bye x

Simply Spreading Smiles.

I came across a website recently http://www.kindspring.org/ which, in short, aims to increase happiness all around the world.

It might seem obvious but doing little acts of kindness as often as possible can really change someones mood, day, week or possibly something on a grander scale if you let it.
This website aims to bring together a group of people who are determined to start ridding the world of a bit of the rubbish that seems to be ever growing. The little time I've spent on the site has shown me that it could have the potential to become a real community. All the members having the same aim but achieving it in a huge array of different and interesting ways.

The bare bones of the idea - whenever you are involved in an activity that is kind, selfless or simply made someone other than yourself smile, you write about it and post it on the community page so that others can get the warm fuzzies by reading it or potentially get inspiration for their own acts of kindness.

This month (starting today - sorry this is a bit late) there is a campaign called the "21-day challenge" in which every person that signs up performs an act of kindness everyday from Sept 11th. When you do sign up the site will email you every day with an idea/action that all involved will try to complete however if you aren't able to then just do whatever you can that is kind.

Everything about this web page makes me happy and the fact that it is because it makes others happy is just brilliant. They even have a scheme called "pay-it-forward" - whenever the act of kindness is completed you pass on a Smile card (provided by the site) so that others will continue a chain of making others happy.

If like me you think this is all kinds of amazing then simply head on over to Kind Spring now and take a look around, maybe sign up to the 21-day challenge.

x

My Madeira Experience.

I have just returned back to the UK after 2 weeks in Madeira accompanied by my family, that’s mum, dad and older sister. We left at an inordinately early time on Monday 12^th and I had my reservations about the whole trip. Now before I sound like an unappreciative dick, I was excited to get away of course. I was apprehensive about not being able to make the most of it and my family ending up being disappointed with my reactions to the trip. In all honesty I‘m not convinced I was able to take full advantage of the experience. This post however is not going to consist of me moaning about how hard it was to be away, it wasn't. On an entirely selfish level it’s by far the most beneficial thing I've done in a very long time.

I admit that yes I have been wallowing in a self-loathing pit of melancholy for some time and it has come to a point where I realise the only thing that can, and fingers crossed will change that is me.

This vacation was I feel the first step in the right direction. I can’t begin to explain how important it is to have time spent away from work (that isn't awful but is by under no illusions brilliant) and to be almost permanently surrounded by positivity for two weeks.

For those that are unaware Madeira is a small Portuguese Island north of Tenerife (or so I’m told by Wikipedia) near South Africa. The weather there is pretty constant all year round and luckily for us that tends to mean warm and clear. Contrary to my normal habits of staying inside in the season of summer, I do enjoy sunshine - it’s just an unfortunate turn of events involving rubbish genes that have led my body to hate it. That being said the holiday was incredible even being - quote from the holiday  -“covered in sunshine”.

I held a parrot, an owl, stroked an iguana and a snake (minds out of the gutter please), went to the city, did traditional dance, ate and drank till I felt sick and went down a road (still used by cars) in what was effectively a basket. One of the most memorable occurrences though would have to be a particular song that the hotel decided to play during aqua aerobics. The aqua aerobics was done every day and led by one of the entertainment staff named Wayne. He smelled like gloriousness and had the body of someone that could very well turn up in the kind of dream that shouldn't be shared in public but that is a tangent for another occasion. I shall now link you to said song – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW0FsUYqVJg The majority of the hotels stayers were either French or German and so the lyrics weren't necessarily considered, however as you can imagine we found it hilarious.

In the end the two weeks were relaxing and quiet and just perfect. I would definitely encourage anyone wanting a picturesque, break from everything sort of holiday to go to Madeira.  

Here is said basket that you travel down roads in. No there are not wheels and yes the "breaks" are the shoes of the two men pushing it.

Knowing when to get help.

So it's time for a bit of a chat. Sit down and grab a cup of tea... or coffee which ever you prefer just make sure you bring some biscuits. Chocolate digestives.

I wanted to take this opportunity to talk about when you're feeling a bit under the weather. By that I mean you feel utterly crappy and have no idea why or what to do about it.
My entire life I've been a fairly laid back person, direct quote from my mother "If you were any more laid back you'd be comatose". Thanks mum, but you get the idea. The point here however is that I don't know when that changed, all I know is that it did, and not in a good way.

I felt the need to give this a mention because it seems I'm not the only one. Obviously I was aware that this was a big issue for many people, but when you yourself are in that situation, it all becomes a bit more real. As self-centered as that may sound I think we all know it's sadly true.
I've been at uni for the past 3 years and all I've ever heard people say is how it was the best time of their lives. Don't get me wrong here, I loved a lot of it, the people I met I won't ever forget and there were plenty of times that I felt 100% happy that I was there. It was towards the middle of second year that I started to notice I was changing as a person. I wasn't happy a lot of the time, I was irritable and anti-social.
But it finally to the forefront of my awareness when I was writing out my new years resolutions this year (towards the end of my final year as a student). I put my pen down and started to read through them all, then I got stuck on one and just kept re-reading it over and over.

"Be happy".

I was genuinely telling myself to try to be happy. How had I become a person that felt the need to do that? I can honestly say that I haven't once before in my whole 21 years of existence had to force happiness upon myself. It was always just sort of there.
I would always make the most of the situations I was in, I got to a point in my life just before uni where I felt fairly confident (I've never had great self-esteem). Then it was just .... gone.

It's hard to put into words really. Looking back over the past, say, 7 months I realised that I had become the type of person that I really didn't like. I didn't want to see people, god forbid I'd actually have to meet new people. I've never been amazing with new people, always nervous, not sure what to say, but that's all pretty normal. This time though I detested even the thought of it, was scared, but also just couldn't be bothered with it all. Everything felt like too much effort. Uni work, job, friends, everything.

Going from being someone that's known for being "bubbly" to, well a recluse that is perpetually pissed off isn't all that much fun.
I'd been struggling with motivation and physical exhaustion for a long while and although the doctors gave me iron for being anemic, not much changed. Unfortunately I think this played a huge role in my mental state. When you are so tired you can't physically focus your eyes on anything, you don't necessarily feel up to getting yourself out of that bad place you've comfortably curled up and settled in.

So this is my story. I hope to go and find help as therapy was suggested to me as a possible aid.

The reason I shared this with anyone that happens to read this post is so we can bridge that gap. Realise that mental health is a genuine issue for many people. If more people talk about their experiences and less people judge, perhaps these problems would lessen. Individuals won't feel embarrassed about talking about feelings and maybe suggest they want to talk to a professional. It's what they're there for after all.
Hey, if acceptance was a more common personality trait I'm almost certain the number of young people and even older with depression and issues with self-harm and even substance abuse issues would decrease exponentially.

Yes there will be those people in your life that don't understand, but understanding and accepting are two very different concepts. If there are those that can't accept (and yes I have them too) then perhaps talk less to them about it. But most importantly please, please don't let someone make you feel guilty or wrong for feeling the way you do. Just because another person says to you "Why can't you just be happy?" "What have you got to  be depressed about?" it doesn't make you wrong. Calmly explain you are going to get help and that should be enough.
I don't think I can say it better than Stephen Chbosky in The Perks of Being a Wallflower - "And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.” Remember it's fine and, to be honest pretty normal to feel  a bit shitty, no matter how "good" your life may seem to onlookers. Along with that my other favourite quote that perfectly describes how I personally felt and still feel - "And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”. Being sad, or happy for that matter is not a permanent state. It will change. One minute someone is laughing with friends, the next they are right back down at the bottom. If you can relate to any of this stuff please go and read this book. Like right now.

So I want to end with a little phrase that I'd like to think if more people agreed with it would make this whole discussion a lot easier. So say it with me - "We aren't mad, we might just need a bit of help sometimes and that's okay"
Because it is. If you need it, it's there, go find it, it could be a parent, a friend, a professional, a teacher or even someone on the internet that wrote a rambling blog post about her uninteresting life (jokes aside, my coments/email/twitter/tumblr are all there for you to click the hell out of).
Just trust and I promise it'll work out, for all of us.

>Side note I will write a slightly less emotional filled post about uni. Don't go and rip up your UCAS applications just yet<

So I saw Iron Man 3...

Most people will have noticed the hype and utter craze surrounding the release of the third installment of the Iron Man story so I went along to give it a watch.

Being a massive Marvel fan (sorry DC you’re cool but my heart belongs to them) I knew I had to go and see this film, however I was a little dubious at first, this was mainly due to the film #2, which in my mind left a lot to be desired. This was probably because of the villain and lack of story, but I’m not one to be put off easily. For those of you that haven’t seen Iron Man 2 (and evidently live under a rock) the villain was Whiplash, who had basically no back story so was a bit confusing and had pretty shitty powers. This was joined by the compromising of Tony Stark’s character because of the way he was shown in his relationship with Pepper. I personally (remember it's an opinion) just think that in film #2 Tony wouldn't have been the sort of boyfriend they portrayed him as so that his cheeky character and lack of any ability to show emotion was over looked. Simply to get gushy romance stuff involved, and who wants that in a superhero film!? Don’t misunderstand me here, I love Pepper, she is awesome, strong (like seriously I want to be her, she's ma fave) and when their “ship” name is Pepperony, a pizza topping, it must be love. My issues with the Iron Man franchise was pretty much fully rectified in Avengers Assemble where Tony was as bad ass and sassy as ever also his interacting with other characters was more what I imagined him to be like. They even managed to include Pepper and it not be disgusting, romances should not be the main focus of a superhero film.

 The story line in #3 was amazing right from the start, it begins back in Tony’s playboy days and shows how perhaps being an utter man whore might come back to bite you in the ass (and not in the good way)! Without giving spoilers away the bad guy, The Mandarin, threatens the life of Tony but now his weakness is showing, the one woman that could make him succumb to a socially acceptable relationship, Pepper. Needless to say Tony isn't best pleased about this and ends up having to run off and save the world, as per.

The villain in this piece is an old Chinese man that seems hell bent on destroying America for its lack of morality. He makes a brilliant bad guy obviously to make up for the crappy last one, he’s creepy, powerful, pretty psychotic and has a twist to his character (little hint for you there oooh).

There’s a lot more complexity in Tony stark’s character too, his relationship with Pepper plays a large role (but not so big that it ends up being a mushy mess that makes you want to vom all over their faces) but he is also thrown into unknown territory where he needs to learn to go back to basics and trust a rather unlikely ally (another little taster). It had everything, with the added bonus of the typical Marvel humour which is always appreciated... oh and of course the appearance of Stan Lee.

What made this film so great was its ability to draw you in with huge, climactic action sequences but evened out with a deeper more substantial story that keeps your attention. Many films don’t manage to get an equal mix of both these things, it’s no easy feat.

Over all the film was pretty powerful, fun and had a fucking awesome soundtrack, well done Marvel! This film is perfect for all levels of superhero fan, even if you don’t consider yourself a fan at all, it’s comedy, fantasy, action, slight romance anything you could want in a film. If you haven’t seen it yet I urge you all to do so, now ... like right now!

Oh and don’t forget to hang about until the scene after the credits, especially if you enjoyed Avengers Assemble (and one more ooooh eeer).

There you have it, my views on Iron Man 3 ... it was freaking epic.